Successful people don't have super powers

Successful people don't have super powers, yes, they are human like the rest of us.

Ever had a shadow of doubt come over you? During time of great trials? Grossly looking down on yourself and your abilities, you sit and wonder why you are having difficulty. You look to your left, you see the flock of people having the same difficulty, constantly reminding you of your situation. Like a hammer pounding on a nail; a nail that wasn't custom made to fit the hole where it's being forcefully pounded into. You take deep breaths, one… two… three… and try so hard to think of the book you once skimmed about seeing things positively. How hard could it be right?

You look to your right, and like another child boasting the start pin on his chest, with the word "Number 1" on its center, you see the only person in the entire room not having difficulty. Breezing through whatever the situation throws at him. What grace, you say to yourself. What power, what intellect, he must have woken up early when the creator was handing over the goods. Intimidation, in it's very dangerous dose.

I knew I should've studied more during my college days. You then cover yourself with a heavier blanket of doubt. "What is he taking? What differences do we have? I bet it's a multitude of things, bet you he even has super powers" you say to yourself in different tongues. You take out your pedestal, the one that you should've been using for yourself, put that person on top of it and addictively marvel at his not so human (or not so you) feats.

What does he have that you don't? Nothing. A shave here and there, you'd be almost exactly alike. He too is stubborn at times, he too has his own personal problems, he too also engages in small talk, and he too has other difficulties in life. Even in things where you see the opposite of difficulty. Just for one little thing, the most important thing, he/she is too damn stubborn to be put down.

They work hard, they take a step further, they make a sacrifice, and do everything you can do. So what is the super power there?

Note:
I experience this most of the time, getting intimidated with a lot of people. People who seemingly have a knack for getting a perfect game or people who command authority. But I'm improving, how about you?

Who are you really helping?

Volunteerism - The willingness of people to work on behalf of others without being motivated by financial or material gain.

Selfless - Exhibiting or motivated by no concern for ones self.

A picture
A blind man in his 50's, father to a son almost rendered useless by his autism, husband to a nearly crippled woman, wakes up early everyday to think of things on how to bring food to their plates. Often times, he offers his services to his neighbors, carrying two big water containers in his aged-strained shoulders and hiking almost 2 kilometers to fetch water in the nearby river. Barefooted, he treks his way through grass, mud, sharp and slippery rocks and, on the better days, the heat of the sun burning through his week old clothes. Taking almost the whole day with the sun still up, gathers only an amount not even close to what we spend for a pack of cigarettes or a one way ride to work.

A little girl, closely watching the poor old man try to bring food to his family knock on their door. Wishing to herself, despite of their own situation, that she could give more than what she has on her left hand. Opening the door every single time, a gush of pure sympathy laminating itself to her core makes her teary eyed. The biggest question on her mind, how will I be able to help? Help more!

How else would she, in her position, HELP?

Given an opportunity, she calls up a television program geared to help people with the most touching stories. What does she do? She asks people from the program, without a doubt in heart, to help her neighbor. A wish that, by a stroke of luck, came true for her neighbor.

A thought
Why did she help? Why didn't she, given that opportunity, just ignore the existence of her neighbor and went ahead making up an even sadder story?

Are you really helping others selflessly? Do you do it for the sole purpose of just helping others? Just them, not you? Other people would say that kind of exhibition of generosity comes from selfless reasons.

"I help because I want to help…"
"I help because I'm happier when I see other people happy…"
"I help because I need to help…"
"I help because I had a calling…"
"I help because they need my help…"
"I help because It's for them, not for me…"
"I help because…"

Not putting phrases similar to "… cause I will benefit by…" in any part of the sentences.

I don't think so. Not the whole of it anyway.

A Reason
In mulling over doing or purchasing something, what will your thought process be?
You look carefully, see if it is worth it.
Will it benefit me?
Will it look good on me?
Will it complicate my life and cause problems in the future?

After versions and versions of related questions, what ultimate question needs answering… By my own understanding and standard, will I be happy?

You need to be at ease with helping people, before you go on and help people. And being at ease with helping people, means that you are happy with it, whole heartedly. Satisfying your need to be happy, is actually having the self in selfless without the less.

An action needs conviction woven tightly inside ones heart before it can be beautifully executed. What do I mean? You become selfish in the very first step of becoming selfless. You are actually helping yourself by helping others, you just don't realize it.

Reciprocating
On the picture, who will have the life long benefit from the experience? The little girl, in my opinion. Humility, compassion, generosity, selflessness, and many more, lessons in life taking almost a lifetime to learn. through one decision made, she has helped herself without even knowing it.


Again, you help yourself by helping others.

Blue prints

I was talking to a friend about this just the other day, it was about another friend. Some deep thoughts on the topic.

My friend was broken hearted. Her boyfriend cheated on her. she's about 22 years of age.

Of course, when asked, I give advice with caution but straight to the point. Caution, I did not direct her to do anything that will require her to choose a side, make a decision, or go do something where she feels half assed. Straight to the point, I give her the facts, at her young age she doesn't need to be as devastated as she is now. She needs to get up and move on. She kept on saying the opposite of what I was saying. That how can she live life and move on if the one she loved betrayed her trust... children... pft. I told her that life will go on, he is just a dot, a passer by, someone who will teach her lessons in life, and all that. At some point of the conversation I told her she was a stereotype. She cried because of that. Dumbfounded as I am because of that, I asked her why. She said I was judging her too soon... children... pft.

One thing stuck to me, she said "Alam mo RD, you don't know me. Wala kang karapatan para sabihan ako ng mga kung ano ano. Hindi mo alam ang sitwasyon ko, ang mga nangyari sa buhay ko."

What will your reaction be when faced with this kind of person?

Who cries after being called a stereotype, is the first. Come on. It was a conversation. pft. Maybe that's why her boyfriend got tired of her and left her :D Sorry for being mean, but I drive a strong point. After much thought on the reply, as I didn't want to say anything that will make her cry again. I told her " I don't need to know anything about the specifics of your life, about what he told you, what emotion you are feeling right now. Beneath all the twists, there is a blue print of that situation. Someone from another point in time, felt that same emotion, went through the same situation and they got through it. "

True, stories though told differently, follow a blue print. A schematics that needs only a careful eye to see and a strong heart to follow. No matter how complicated a problem might seem, there is a systematic way to go through it and prevail over it.

What is thrown to you only obscures your vision. If you choose to embed those into your being, bath yourself with it, it's your choice. You need not feel special in a negative way, that everything in your life goes wrong, you are always on the bad side of the stick, always unlucky and always miserable.

Hard thing to do, but when done, can do wonders.

Core values beat bad circumstances any day

At the most dire of times, circumstances and events most people turn to superstition and religion. Believing that their tenacity and strong belief alone in the ancients and saints will be the key, the answer, the long awaited solution to the problem they are facing. It's not all bad to pray, go to mass, or even consult the mystics. After all, faith does wonders. A strong belief or faith gives an unexplainable fuel for an individual to go on and master the emotion and conquer anything in their way.

But what is really needed is going back to basics. From my experience, I too prayed more than the usual when in doubt or when facing a problem. The comfort that it brings me, is welcoming and warm. Though, again guilty of the placing trust where action is needed, not really serving it side by side with my core values.

From a tweet of @wilsonng
Crisis into an opportunity - Jim Collins

Taking the article to a more personal level, as it is indicated though it is a study made on why businesses succeed in tough times, I have realized that much of the values I hold and practice aren't located at my core being. I loose faith, belief, action when bombarded with emotional bombs. Not to be proud of the emotional weakness I have, but a fact that I must face. Reading the article above made me think twice of how I value my core values, of how strongly attached their roots are to me and of how time and circumstance proven are they to me. My verdict, guilty. I am one of the persons, most of the time, described above.

To give an example. Of the things that I always keep in mind, is the thought of proving people wrong when they say or even think negatively of me. I don't want to be put in a story and be written as the one who cannot recover, as the one who is lacking in good judgment, as the one who is always far behind. I despise it, who wouldn't, right? But it seemingly stops there, just the hatred. Which really makes a rotten apple out of a person, seriously. I do a rebound and recover, of course, but not as often as I would hope to. It was a weakness that I have, I told myself, at the same time contradicting myself saying that it wasn't put there to be accepted as it is, but rather as how you would understand it and how you will translate it.

Translating, adapting to maybe, perplexing problems with one of the most valuable tools, your values, will help you learn and recover. What am I talking about? Further using my example, now I'm feeling down because somebody, because of my mistake of course, wrote me down as someone who commits a mistake more often than the usual. The core value, I don't want to be branded with a negative title like that. What I should do, like to do at the darkest of problems, is to get out of the hole where the person wrote me into. I will do everything I can, a battle cry of resolve… I will not be put down. One way or the other I will prevail. I will erase it, even if written in permanent ink, and write myself a new version of my character. With that in mind, I will correct it with a plan, with a goal in mind, with my other values.

I won't focus on the difficult or troublesome situation dealt to me, I will focus on what I hold dear, on what defines me as a person, father, friend, husband and whatever role I will play in flesh or in spirit, I will focus on the positivity and value of my core being.

This year started rough, but hey, it won't be much of a life if it wasn't :)

And to think that I was lightly using the word value in one of my conversations with a friend of mine.