Blue prints

I was talking to a friend about this just the other day, it was about another friend. Some deep thoughts on the topic.

My friend was broken hearted. Her boyfriend cheated on her. she's about 22 years of age.

Of course, when asked, I give advice with caution but straight to the point. Caution, I did not direct her to do anything that will require her to choose a side, make a decision, or go do something where she feels half assed. Straight to the point, I give her the facts, at her young age she doesn't need to be as devastated as she is now. She needs to get up and move on. She kept on saying the opposite of what I was saying. That how can she live life and move on if the one she loved betrayed her trust... children... pft. I told her that life will go on, he is just a dot, a passer by, someone who will teach her lessons in life, and all that. At some point of the conversation I told her she was a stereotype. She cried because of that. Dumbfounded as I am because of that, I asked her why. She said I was judging her too soon... children... pft.

One thing stuck to me, she said "Alam mo RD, you don't know me. Wala kang karapatan para sabihan ako ng mga kung ano ano. Hindi mo alam ang sitwasyon ko, ang mga nangyari sa buhay ko."

What will your reaction be when faced with this kind of person?

Who cries after being called a stereotype, is the first. Come on. It was a conversation. pft. Maybe that's why her boyfriend got tired of her and left her :D Sorry for being mean, but I drive a strong point. After much thought on the reply, as I didn't want to say anything that will make her cry again. I told her " I don't need to know anything about the specifics of your life, about what he told you, what emotion you are feeling right now. Beneath all the twists, there is a blue print of that situation. Someone from another point in time, felt that same emotion, went through the same situation and they got through it. "

True, stories though told differently, follow a blue print. A schematics that needs only a careful eye to see and a strong heart to follow. No matter how complicated a problem might seem, there is a systematic way to go through it and prevail over it.

What is thrown to you only obscures your vision. If you choose to embed those into your being, bath yourself with it, it's your choice. You need not feel special in a negative way, that everything in your life goes wrong, you are always on the bad side of the stick, always unlucky and always miserable.

Hard thing to do, but when done, can do wonders.

Core values beat bad circumstances any day

At the most dire of times, circumstances and events most people turn to superstition and religion. Believing that their tenacity and strong belief alone in the ancients and saints will be the key, the answer, the long awaited solution to the problem they are facing. It's not all bad to pray, go to mass, or even consult the mystics. After all, faith does wonders. A strong belief or faith gives an unexplainable fuel for an individual to go on and master the emotion and conquer anything in their way.

But what is really needed is going back to basics. From my experience, I too prayed more than the usual when in doubt or when facing a problem. The comfort that it brings me, is welcoming and warm. Though, again guilty of the placing trust where action is needed, not really serving it side by side with my core values.

From a tweet of @wilsonng
Crisis into an opportunity - Jim Collins

Taking the article to a more personal level, as it is indicated though it is a study made on why businesses succeed in tough times, I have realized that much of the values I hold and practice aren't located at my core being. I loose faith, belief, action when bombarded with emotional bombs. Not to be proud of the emotional weakness I have, but a fact that I must face. Reading the article above made me think twice of how I value my core values, of how strongly attached their roots are to me and of how time and circumstance proven are they to me. My verdict, guilty. I am one of the persons, most of the time, described above.

To give an example. Of the things that I always keep in mind, is the thought of proving people wrong when they say or even think negatively of me. I don't want to be put in a story and be written as the one who cannot recover, as the one who is lacking in good judgment, as the one who is always far behind. I despise it, who wouldn't, right? But it seemingly stops there, just the hatred. Which really makes a rotten apple out of a person, seriously. I do a rebound and recover, of course, but not as often as I would hope to. It was a weakness that I have, I told myself, at the same time contradicting myself saying that it wasn't put there to be accepted as it is, but rather as how you would understand it and how you will translate it.

Translating, adapting to maybe, perplexing problems with one of the most valuable tools, your values, will help you learn and recover. What am I talking about? Further using my example, now I'm feeling down because somebody, because of my mistake of course, wrote me down as someone who commits a mistake more often than the usual. The core value, I don't want to be branded with a negative title like that. What I should do, like to do at the darkest of problems, is to get out of the hole where the person wrote me into. I will do everything I can, a battle cry of resolve… I will not be put down. One way or the other I will prevail. I will erase it, even if written in permanent ink, and write myself a new version of my character. With that in mind, I will correct it with a plan, with a goal in mind, with my other values.

I won't focus on the difficult or troublesome situation dealt to me, I will focus on what I hold dear, on what defines me as a person, father, friend, husband and whatever role I will play in flesh or in spirit, I will focus on the positivity and value of my core being.

This year started rough, but hey, it won't be much of a life if it wasn't :)

And to think that I was lightly using the word value in one of my conversations with a friend of mine.

Strange way to start this blog

Aha! After contemplating on whether to start myself a new blog, for the more serious and quality type posts, I tried signing up here at blogspot. To my suprpise I already created an account here, August 28, 2007, almost two years ago. I have forgotten why I created this in the first place, I doubt if it has anything to do with the reason I have right now.

There was a test post, and two comments. I guess I was testing the comment function.

For the more serious matters, concerns, and me wanting to be, at the least, a decent writer, I will be updating this blog. I will try to overcome the thought of comparing the quality of my work, if there is indeed quality, to the other experienced bloggers and writers in the community. Thinking of how bad my posts will look like compared to the other blogs that I read has hindered me from writing anything, so how can I grow without even starting crossed my mind. I will be as bold and as confident from now on, since at the end of the day, I will be improving with every topic I write about.

This may even be a great way to start my new year, one of the ways.